Little Known Facts,Humorous Sayings and more...
A man is locked in a room with no way to get out.
In the room there is a piano and a baseball bat.
How could he get out?
- He could take a key from the piano and unlock the door.
- He could take the bat and get three strikes--then he would be out.
Did you ever notice that the Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL?
Perhaps the sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble?
Did you ever notice when you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs'?
THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW!
- RACECAR is spelled the same forwards or backwards.
- No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
- Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
- You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
- Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
- The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
- The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE(is that why he's king of hearts?)
- American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
- Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
- Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
- Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE! (A good example of conquering your fears
and making something good out of them)
- PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR! (Wonder how they found that out?...(Perhaps it was learned by the mother of a toddler??)
- It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.
- A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
- (Author Unknown---Facts not verified--Are they true??)
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and
you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Scroll down for the answer.
Answer: GET OFF THE CHILDREN'S CAROUSEL !
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is..."UP"
- It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
- At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
- Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election ?
- Why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
- We call UP our friends, we brighten UP a room and polish UP the silver.
- We warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
- We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car
- When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
- When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
- When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
- When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
- At other times the little word has real special meaning.
- People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
- To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
- And these UPs are confusing:
- A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
- We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
- We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
- To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
- In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
- If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
- It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more uses.
- I could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, because for now my time is UP, so.....Time for me to shut UP!
- --Author Unknown
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Let's face it English is a crazy language!
- Can you read these sentences correctly the first time?
- 1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
- 2. The farm was used to produce produce.
- 3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- 4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
- 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- 7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
- 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- 10. I did not object to the object.
- 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- 13. They were too close to the door to close it.
- 14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
- 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- 18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
- 19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- 20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
- There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.
- English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.
- Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down.
Isn't it amazing that you fill in a form by filling it out ?
And how can an alarm go off by going on?
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. Go figure!!??
PS. - and.....Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick?"
AEROBICS FOR YOUR BRAIN
(Enjoy these brainteasers. See answers below.)
- 1. How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper?
- 2. How many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen?
- 3. A rope ladder hangs over the side of a ship. The rungs are one foot apart and the ladder is 12 feet long. The tide is rising at four inches an hour. How long will it take before the first four rungs of the ladder are underwater?
- 4. Which would you rather have, a gallon jar full of nickels or a gallon jar half full of dimes?
- 5. Steve has three piles of sand and Mike has four piles of sand. All together, how many do they have?
- 6. In which sport are the shoes made entirely of metal?
- 7. If the Vice-President of the United States should die, who would be President?
- 8. How can you throw a golf ball with all your might and, without hitting a wall or any other obstruction, have the ball stop and come right back to you?
- 9. According to most state laws, the attempt to commit a certain crime is punishable, but actually committing the crime is not. What is the crime?
- 10. Find the English word that can be formed from all these letters:PNLLEEEESSSSS
- 11. How many times can you subtract 2 from the numeral 9?
- 12. If you take two apples from three apples, how many apples will you have?
- 13. If you are standing on a hard floor, how can you drop an egg three feet without breaking the egg?
- 1. Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the bit of newspaper on their side of the door.
- 2. There are twelve (not four).
- 3. Actually, the ladder will rise with the ship.
- 4. Dimes are smaller than nickels, so choose the dimes.
- 5. If they put them all together, there will be one pile.
- 6. Horseracing.
- 7. The President.
- 8. Throw the ball straight up.
- 9. Suicide.
- 10. Sleeplessness.
- 11. Just once. Then you'd be subtracting 2 from the numeral 7, then 2 from the numeral 5, and so forth.
- 2. You will have two apples.
- 13. Hold the egg more than three feet above the ground when you drop it.
- --Good, Clean Fun: http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
An anagram,is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase
. The following examples are quite astounding:
- Dormitory = Dirty Room
- The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
- Slot Machines = Cash Lost in 'em
- Animosity = Is No Amity
- Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
- Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
- Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
- Semolina = Is No Meal
- The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
- A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
- Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
- Contradiction = Accord not in it
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
- Compiled by email@example.com
- MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road!"
And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
- AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
- RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.
the chicken did NOT cross the road.
- JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?
I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?'
- BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook.
- OLIVER STONE: The question is not Why did the chicken cross the road?
Rather, it is, Who was crossing the road at the same time, and whom did we overlook in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?
- MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
- GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
- MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
- EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
- RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it.
- ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die... In the rain... Alone.
- COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
Frisco, '67 said: "Look, a bird with no wings!!!"
And everyone looked up.
- Story by "Buckies"
Haiku by firstname.lastname@example.org
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
- Q:What do you call it when a pig loses his memory?
- Q:What is a frog's favorite soda ?
- Q:What is a dog's favorite pizza ?
- Q:Where do Sharks go for a vacation?
- Q:What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
- Q:What do you call bears with no ears?
- Q: What is red and moves up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator
- Q: What is the definition of the early evening news?
A: It starts with the words "Good evening" then spends the next half an hour telling you why it isn't one.
A BIT OF TRIVIA...
How smart are you? (answers are below...but don't cheat!)
- 1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user
doesn't even see it
. What is it?
- 2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts.
The child is not a United States citizen
. How is this possible?
- 3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
- 4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer.
How is this possible?
- 5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories.
Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I.
Through brilliant maneuvers he defeated them and captured valuable territory.
After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War One. From the Men of Battalion 8."
Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone
to believe that yarn, do you?"
What's wrong with the story?
- 6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or
politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
- 7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
- 8. A woman from New York married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws.
None of these men died and she never divorced
. How was this possible?
- 9. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
- 10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
- 11. A taxi driver was called to take a group of passengers to the train
The station is normally an hour away, but with traffic being extra heavy, it took a full hour and a half.
On the return trip the traffic was still as heavy and yet it took only 90 minutes.
- 12. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to
make one word?
Note: There is only one correct answer.
- 13. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never
eat a penguin's egg.
- 14. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg *are* white" or
"The yolk of the egg *is* white"?
- 15. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.
- 16. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the "International Home Show".
One of them was the father of the other's son.
How could this be possible?
- 17. After the new Canon Law that took effect on November 27, 1983,
would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?
- 1. A coffin
- 2. The child was born before 1776.
- 3. Mount Everest; it just hadn't been discovered!
- 4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.
- 5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.
- 6. The word "and."
- 7. They fall in the same year every year,
New Year's Day just
arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives
very late in the same year.
- 8. The lady was a Justice of the Peace.
- 9. One 1,990 dollar bills are worth $1 more than 1,989.
- 10. Only once, then you are subtracting it from 20.
- 11. An hour and a half IS 90 minutes.
- 12. "new door" = "one word"
- 13. Penguins live in the Antarctic.
- 14. Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.
- 15. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera,
not with a wooden leg.
- 16. They were husband and wife.
- 17. He can't because he's dead.
When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten students got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.
> > > >>
- What is greater than God,
- More evil than the devil,
- The poor have it,
- The rich need it,
- And if you eat it, you'll die?
- Think you know??
- If you're ready to give up, scroll way down for the answer:
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>the answer is........................
> > > >>NOTHING !
"EVER WONDER ...??
- Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- Why is it impossible to put on mascara with your mouth closed? !
- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
"Dear God, help me to be the person my dog thinks I am"
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