Jokes relating to Sports


Divine Guidance?
This guy decides to go ice fishing one day, he gets up at 2am to have an early start.
When he arrives he gets out his saw and begins carving away at the ice when all of a sudden he hears an echoing voice, "There are no fish under the ice there."
The dude freaks out looks around but sees no one. So he waits a few minutes then decides there is no one around and keeps carving.
A few minutes later the voice comes back, "There are no fish under the ice there!"
"Wow!", thinks the dude to himself, "Wow, God is giving me guidance."
So he once again starts to carve away at another part of the ice. He hears the bellowing voice, "Sir this is the rink manager, and there are no fish under the ice anywhere."
- As told by laughalot-owner@laughalot.com


HEAVENLY BASEBALL
Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
For their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter and they pored over every box score during the season.
They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening.
He died happy.
A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it's me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you.
Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that, yes, there is baseball in heaven,Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful!
So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."

What a Team!
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.",
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "Four?"
"Four?!?!!Did you day Four!!!" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
- As told by laughalot-owner@laughalot.com
"What's the Score?"
Harry fell asleep watching "Monday Night Football " and spent the night on the couch.
The next morning his wife woke him and said " Get up , dear, it's 20 to 7 "
Harry opened his eyes and said..... " In whose favor ?"
Nuts About Chess
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories
. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, moving off
. "Because,"the manager said,
"I just can't stand to hear chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"

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